It unfortunate that a single parent can have control over a child's option to see the other parent. I am 22 and I have had one opputunity to have time with my father. I know he isn't perfect, but the pain I have had to deal with is unfair.
In my eyes, both of my parents were selfish. My mother in her own mind was protecting me from a man she thought was not worth our time, and my father believed he was worth my time. I saw him for 2 weeks when I was 15, and shortly thereafter my mother ruined the reunion. I haven't spoke to him since. I resent the fact that they can't grow up and see what was ultimately best for me.
I wish parents of a broken relationship could see past their own problems and put their children first. I think I will always be haunted with the fact that I am a bastard child of a man who doesn't care about me and a mother who cares only about her own revenge. He wont know when he's a grandfather, I will have no one to walk me with me when I get married, and I am left to feel like the failure and like I messed up somehow. It's unfair that I will always have a hole in my heart. It has affected my personal relationships in which I am always looking for a father figure, and can't seem to fully come to grips with the fact that I will never have one.
I plead to everyone who may read this, make an effort for your children!!! You may think you are doing the right thing for whatever reason; however, untimately they are the one's who feel abandoned, insignificant and unworthy. Let pride go and allow your children to take what they can from both sides. Your children are intelligent beings who can come to their own conclusions about their parents, don't make that decision for them. It's not your right and your kids might very well end up resenting you far more than the absent parent.
Sabrina P.